Over the past year and a half, John and I have been asked a zillion questions about the World Race, but there is one question that nearly everyone asks:
How can you let your child go on the World Race?
The question is almost always followed by the statement: I could never do that! You must be soooo brave! Let me tell you up front, it is not because I am brave. I am not brave. I am anything but brave. I still sleep with a night light, folks!
There is an answer to the question though, and because you may be shaking your head and wondering how I can let my child go on the World Race, I thought I would take a few minutes and tell you.
First and foremost, Keighty is my child. I birthed her. I raised her. She is mine. BUT she is also an adult. So, when Keighty told us about the World Race and said she wanted to go, she wasn’t asking for our permission. She was asking for our support.
That’s how it works with adult children. We don’t get to say they can or cannot do things. We get to choose if we are going to support them.
Yes, Keighty lives at home. Yes, we still pay for her cell phone and her car insurance. Regardless, our role is no longer to have authority over her but to have influence on her.
We can leverage that influence in several ways.
If we did not want to support Keighty on the World Race, we could choose not to support her fundraising efforts. We could choose to stop paying her cell phone or car insurance bills. We could tell her if she went on the World Race that she can no longer live at home. Those things were in our control. They were OUR decisions. The going or not going, that was HER decision.
After a lot of prayer, discussion, and research (Parents, learn about what your kids are doing! This is huge in your ability to counsel well.) John and I came to the conclusion that the World Race was exactly what Keighty needed and was exactly where God was leading her.
So you see, I am not letting Keighty go on the World Race. I am supporting her on this journey.
Second, I don’t make decisions based on my emotions.
I am an emotive person. I LOVE feelings. They are my jam. BUT, I also know that they can be deceitful and untrustworthy. My logic and thoughts can be as well.- See Jeremiah 17:5 and 2 Corinthians 10:5.
However, I can do things- like support Keighty’s World Race- regardless of my emotions.
I am not brave. In fact, I am often scared. I am scared of the pain of letting go as well as the pain Keighty will experience going. However, that pain is one I am willing to experience- and one I am willing to let Keighty experience- because I realize it is necessary.
Letting go hurts, but it is time for us to step aside and let Keighty fly. I can do this not because I am brave but because I trust. Not in Keighty, but in God.
God has Keighty. He holds her. He loves her more than we do and can take care of her more than anyone can, including John and I.
I am not brave. John is not even brave. We choose to trust.
Your child may never go on the World Race, but I guarantee you someday she will ask you to support her on an adventure. You have a choice, and it isn’t the choice of permission. It is the choice to support.
When it is right, I encourage you to support your child. I also encourage you to recognize that your emotions are not an indicator of your support. Your trust in God the Father is.
Brave or not, you CAN do this.
If your child is going on the World Race or is thinking about it, you can do this! You can let your child go on the World Race for all 11 months to all 11 countries. God has our children in His hands and through this Race, if it is where He is calling them, He will do amazing things beyond what we could ever ask or imagine.
How have you experienced letting go? What choices helped you through the process? Leave a comment and share your story.