January has not been the month I wanted it to be. I am tired. I have been sick. I had surgery. Then I had a complication with my surgery. I am feeling down, defeated, discouraged. I have been fighting. Fighting hard to stay motivated, to stay strong, to push through my circumstances.
Today, I surrender.
I surrender to that fact that sometimes life is hard. I surrender to that fact that I am not super woman. I am weak, and I need help. I need my Savior.
In this, a state of surrender, I will finally start my year.
What I am learning is that my enoughness does not come from a place of being or doing anything. In fact, I am Nothing apart from the All-Sufficient, All-Capable, More Than Enough Jesus. With and through Him I can do all things.
I can be content with the less than, difficult, challenging days and months that aren’t what I hoped for. I can stop fighting and trying to make them into something that they aren’t because He is everything and that is More Than Enough.
I am not giving up.
I am not quitting.
But I am surrendering.
I admit I can’t do the hard days or the easy ones on my own. I am going to allow Jesus to carry me, and not just through a day or even a year but through my entire life.